submissive-seeking:

mastersslutslave:

Saying no

There is a tendency to think that as a Submissive we give away our right to say “no” to our Dominant, nothing could be further from the truth. We always, always, always have the right to say no there is however a right way and a wrong way to say no.

There are times that my Master will ask me to do a task that simply isn’t possible in that moment, he can’t see me 24/7 he doesn’t know my circumstances every time he requests me to do a task.

So how do you say no? Well here is what I say…. “Master may I please request that not happen at this moment? Currently I am unable to complete this task and I don’t like not doing as you ask. May we please reschedule this for a more suitable time?”

This allows him to retain the power, while at the same time I am able to express the “no” with a reason that he can understand. It also allows me to show my respect to him and to his request.

There are other times when I am asked point blank for my opinion on something, I have a tendency to try and feel the waters and see how my Master feels, what he is thinking, he never gives me his thoughts in these kinds of circumstances, he knows that I would potentially alter my thinking to please him.

So when I am asked my opinion I give it, and if the answer is of a negative nature then so be it. That is how it is, a negotiation may pursue and I may alter or even reverse my decision but I always have the ability to say no.

D/s is a Partnership a pure and special Partnership, if you take away the rights of your Submissive to say no, you are in fact taking away the essence of who she is and her power.

If you take away her power you can’t keep her safe, not like she needs to be.

As a Submissive the thought of upsetting my Master in anyway is crushing, that however does not mean that I have to always say yes. To do so in fact undermines the integrity and strength of the relationship we have. I have the right to say NO.

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, can be done withing the Dynamic.

Why does it matter? Because everything within the Dynamic “MUST” preserve the Power Exchange in my opinion.

Every one of us, on both sides of the slash, has the right to deploy the emergency brakes. It’s called the safeword. Utter the safeword and EVERYTHING stops on a dime. PERIOD.

I don’t care what it is. If my Hubby is about to do something full on, well, silly – like climb up on the roof to take pictures of a lightning storm (sigh, He did), then I scream “RED, GOD DAMMIT RREEED!!!!”

Yes, you can even “fight” within the Dynamic. I’m actually writing a piece on how a long term married vanilla turned D/s couple fights within the Dynamic for a follower who asked.

In the end, “I want.” “I don’t want.” and “No.” all boil down to this…

Meta talk until both parties have a complete understanding of the issue. Then make a decision – submit and obey, renegotiate, or seek release.

Sidenote: In my case, a long term marriage, we agreed to define “release” as outside the dynamic. If something cannot be negotiated to both of our satisfaction, we will put it CLEARLY outside of our Dynanic.