I’ve gotten quite a few inbox questions/messages about how to tell if a girl is submissive. I haven’t been sure how to reply, because I’m certainly no authority on the matter, and I didn’t want to stereotype or generalize. But I’m going to try my very best to answer the question. Please remember that I can only write based on my own experiences and conversations.
1. She likes it when you’re a gentleman. Things like opening the door, driving her home, pulling out her chair, and paying for dates. Most submissive girls will take notice and enjoy it, instead of being offended.
2. She can be stubborn and fiesty. It’s true, and it’s something I see a lot talking with other submissive gals. The difference here with a submissive girl is that she will enjoy it when you “push back” and establish your dominance in response. See below.
3. She tests you often (to make sure you’re in control). I know this may seem counter-intuitive, but oftentimes subs will “test” their doms/potential doms to make sure they are really in control. We want to feel boundaries, and we want you to put your foot down. I did this with my husband even when we first started dating, just to see how much I could get away with. Make it clear to her that you won’t accept bad or disrespectful behavior, and see how she responds.
4. She likes when you lead. A submissive girl will be happy to let you sit in the driver’s seat and take the reigns in the relationship, whereas a non-submissive woman would begin to feel uncomfortable.
5. She wants you to make decisions. Even small things like picking where you will eat or what you will do on a date.
6. She enjoys traditional gender roles. The kind of girl who wouldn’t be insulted if you asked her to cook you a nice dinner for date-night.
7. She’s a good listener. Oftentimes submissive women enjoy listening more than talking. We genuinely want to hear what you have to say, and appreciate it when you open up to us.
8. She is eager to please you. Pay attention. If you compliment a particular dress, hairstyle, or perfume, watch to see if she begins wearing it more often. A dominant woman would be more likely to simply appreciate the compliment, but wouldn’t change her behavior as a result.
9. She reacts well to your dominance. The only way to REALLY know if a girl is submissive is for you to take the lead and just be your natural, dominant self. Sometimes submissive women don’t show their true nature until they’re around a genuinely dominant man. Projecting this type of personality will not only repel dominant women, but will help to attract the submissive girl you’re looking for.
I have been told that I do not come across as a submissive woman when you meet me in a group setting. But yes, I would respond to all of these. The light testing is particularly important in building trust that a Dominant will hold boundaries firm.
Sharp Dressed Dom 