hedonist-woman:

“That which yields is not always weak.” – Jacqueline Carey — Kushiel’s Dart

If you pay any attention to any of the good blog around Tumblr, you’ll note there’s agreement on quite a few things, such as the truth that submissives are not weak. This is what the quote above says to me, as well as the reminder that bridges and skyscrapers are built to flex, so to speak, with wind, traffic, and vibrations so they will maintain structural integrity. Trees bend and sway the wind, even strong winds, though they generally don’t break.

Today, I thought I was going to break. I truly doubted myself for a short while. Personal things were piling up, and I just *couldn’t* any more. I was done. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I didn’t want to be on Earth anymore. I didn’t want to deal anymore. I couldn’t find my boot straps to pick myself up by and march on.

So I yielded to my sorrows and despair. I cried, a lot. I wailed and keened to the point that a banshee would have been scared away. I soaked half a towel with snot, tears, and drool (it wasn’t pretty). I was lost for that time. I struggled to find an anchor in that sea of sorrows. My tears finally ran out. I couldn’t summon any further heartache.

I am still, at least 8 hours later, so very tired, but my I’m not broken. I yielded but didn’t give up, and didn’t indulge my no longer wanting to be here. I am still here because I could yield. Because I am a submissive, I have learned that I can yield to a great many things, but still be so very strong. I can also yield to life, even if it’s just a short moment in time, and then continue on, as a strong woman who knows who she is and what she is worth.

I swear that submissives are some of the strongest people I’ve ever known, even if we don’t always think it or believe it of ourselves. We will always continue as ourselves, as submissives, who will yield but remain strong.

@sccwriting